Deal with teenager mood swings: One minute your teenager is standing with you laughing giggling and talking. The phone beeps after 2 minutes you are wanting to continue with the conversation and your teen shut you off and sits quietly in a corner.
You go trying to talk to him, bring in a bit of a humour and suddenly a team laughs and again becomes all chatty with you.
Sounds familiar. Almost all parents of teenagers would experience it.
Teenager mood swings is otherwise called as “Puberty Mood Swings”. Teenagers change moods very quickly.
Teenage phase is considered one of the most stressful times for a child’s parents because the child is going through a major change involving intense mood swings.
- What is teenager mood Swings?
- The reasons of mood swings during teen
- How to help teenager control mood swings
- Ways in which parents can deal with teenager mood swings
- Irritated or depressed? – Word of Caution
- Important Note to Parents
What is teenager mood Swings?
When a child reaches the age of 13 or 15, your child begins to go through all sorts of intense changes. These include changes in the mood of teen, including physical, emotional, psychological, and social changes.
All of these ultimately affect a child’s development. Sometimes your teens get very angry over small things and sometimes they get much irrigated for no reason.
Sometimes your child start crying for little things, it is very difficult to find the reason for teenager mood swings because sometimes there is no apparent reason for your teenager mood swings.
Thus, changes in the mood of teen are not uncommon. When your child goes out, they meet other children and begin to compare themselves with others and then a lot of demands increases.
When parents do not fulfill these demands for any reason, then your child become irritable and rude behavior. This can also result in backtalks. A difficult thing to deal with. Read our article on Backtalk to know more.
Some teens have very sensitive they can’t stand it and start crying.
Some children’s have a bad temper, they get angry. Sometime even act out by hitting the wall, grinding their teeth or sulking.
But teenage is the age at which your child expresses all kinds of emotions like anger, sadness, irritability crying, fighting etc.
The reasons of mood swing during teen
At teenage, a child’s mood swing can be very sudden. Sometimes within few minutes.
Teenage mood swings can be because of biological reasons. It is a phase in life when the process of physical, mental and sexual maturity begins.
One of the things that parents can do at this stage is to bring about awareness of the changes to their child. Including sensitive topics such as sexual maturity (Sex education). It is important to have healthy sex education talk with your child. If you are wondering how to talk and need some conversation openers read our article Sex education to know more.
Individual Identity & Independence
In this stage the teenager try’s to be like an adult. They try to establish their own identity. They try to gain independence and figure out what their believes and goals in life are.
While they try to do this, they are still children without much experience. And all these journeys of self-discovery can overwhelm them and make them feel lonely if no one is there to share it with them.
Or scared and fearful of the future. At the same time, they might also feel excited and optimistic about the same future.
My elder son who wants to be a cricketer go through the sine curves very often. One day he would talk about how he’s going to conquer the world and few hours later he would talk about why he’s not fit to be a cricketer.
Remember when things get overwhelming for the teenager and fear and uncertainty sets in. And when this is not checked and supported at the right time.
It can lead to all sorts of issues in a teenager. Right from anxiety to depression and in worst case Suicide.
To know more about Anxiety issues in a teenager read our article
Peer Pressures and Competition
While the teenager is trying to find their own identity. They are also influenced by their peers, their abilities and their outlook in life.
Usually your teenager’s friends also belong to the same category age group wise. So, they also go through similar challengers during their teenage years.
Peer pressure and competition and validation from the peer group starts influencing the teenager and in turn their moods. Because the teenager compares themselves with their peers and feels better or not good enough.
My son would be lively one minute and within few minutes become all gloomy. When probing he would then ask me why he’s not as talented as one of his friends. Would he be able to achieve as much as his friend would achieve in life?
Behaviours and achievements of the peer group also affects the mood of a competitive teenager.
If you like to help your child deal with peer pressure and wish to know more about it do read article peer pressure.
In this stage teens see their families and their social environment in a new light, and this can cause the teenager to question a lot of happenings in their surroundings. When it conflicts with their opinion and can lead teenager mood swings during this time.
I second son loves to go to his aunt’s place and spend time there when he was a small boy. And as he reached adolescence he slowly started withdrawing and not going there.
I could see from his talks that the primary reason was because of the conflict in the family values that they had to the one that he started strongly believing in.
So, whenever we would go in for a gathering or when he knows that we have to go into their place his moods change.
A Note to parents:
Even though we have all gone through this phase, not all experience is the same. So, be cognizant of the fact that your teenager experience can be different from that of yours.
Adolescence is a time when a young person faces new challenges as they grow from teens to adult. As parents it is important that we teach our children how to face challenges and with the right and positive attitude. To know more about this read our article face challenges
Teenagers still need love and attention during this age. Therefore, it is important that you build a good relationship with your child.
How to help teenager control mood swings
Regular exercise produces more beta-endorphins, a hormone that controls stress and improves mood. Make them go for a run, play tennis, bike or punch a punching bag.
Something that helps them sweat and get more blood flowing in their veins.
Also, teach them breathing exercises. Help them to breathe in and breathe out slowly which will intern relax them when they are getting into a moody phase.
Go out on sun
There are numerous benefits of sunlight and we have written in detail about these amazing benefits in article sunlight.
Sunlight and darkness trigger the release of hormones in your brain.
Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused.
Educate your child on the benefits of sunlight and encourage them to go out and spend some time in the sun every day.
Develop Interest in new activities:
Encourage them to participate in some kind of project, such as starting a diary or diary, building something out of wood, or starting an art or piece of music.
Ask them not to worry about grammar, spelling or punctuation; the important thing is for them to put their thoughts on paper.
Likewise, they can try any hobby that they like. This will also give them a good and constructive diversion.
My second son whenever he is moody. Would go to his room and takes his guitar and start playing.
In few minutes you would start seeing him getting interested in the music he plays, and he starts trying new cords and combinations.
Educate your teen on what is happening
During teenage, physical changes in your body, such as the onset of menstruation and the development of masculine and feminine forms, are caused by hormones. While these hormones are really smart, they are also quite annoying.
If you can bring about good awareness to your teen. And when you help your team spot triggers for their moodiness.
It will help your teen better to understand themselves. Spot when they are getting into their cranky zone. And deal with the emotions better.
In teens, the roller coaster of emotions can take them to the brink of madness. And drive you crazy. Assure your teen that they are not going mad.
The more your teen is able to understand their feelings better during this awkward period, the more they will find control in their life.
Help them form a circle of trustable people:
Always nudge them to share their thoughts and feelings with people they trust.
Help them form a circle of people that they can trust.
Friends can help each other by realizing that they are not alone in their feelings.
But if you are in the trusted people circle. Then you are in luck.
Show your teenager the benefits of talking to their parents. Parents can share their own experiences of bad moods. They will also appreciate if you try to explain how you feel rather than just knocking on a door.
Also, Teachers and counselors are usually good resources, and a doctor can help sort questions about development.
Give your kid these contacts and let them know that they can use them anytime.
When you build a strong emotional connection with your teenager you will start becoming part of their inner trusted circle. If you like to know more about the same read our article Emotional connection.
Teach them to wait it out
It is normal to have mood swings. And one of the effective ways they can go about tackling teenage mood swings is by simply waiting it out.
In some ways the points that we had mentioned about such as exercising, going out in the sun, finding a distraction is also ways in which the teenager can wait the moody phase out.
Ways in which parents can deal with teenager mood swings:
Fortunately, there are great features and behaviors that parents can use to successfully cope with the changes in their child’s teenage mood and any problems that come with it.
One very important thing for teenagers is that they feel they can trust their parents. They want you to consider their efforts and accomplishments, but that’s not all.
They should also confirm their own identity. As a parent, you are the best person to encourage them to believe in themselves and achieve their goals.
Guides and point them to directions that you feel is best for the, However, let them make their own decisions and follow through with it. The more they are able to make sound decisions the more self-confidence they will develop.
There are other ways of developing self-confidence read our article self confidence to know more.
Setting rules and standards is essential to make your child feel mentally safe.
However, you should be careful not to become an authoritative parent by dictating rules that are either too strict or too lenient and permissive.
It is better to be balanced and set clear boundaries with good explanations.
To know more about your parenting style. Our article Parenting styles can help you with it.
Ensure your teen gets Good sleep:
It is very important that your child complete his sleep. When your kid sleeps on time and wake on time so that his emotions will remain stable and mood also good and pleasant.
Due to the use of electronic media, mobile, internet etc. children loose sleep. That’s why children suffer from stress and this causes teenager mood swings.
Getting enough sleep. Give your teen enough time to rest. Being tired can provide more sadness and irritability.
What works for me is that I have a fixed schedule of sleep and wake time. While yes sometimes the time my teenage son’s wake up in the morning gets a bit stretched but the time that they need to retire to bed is fixed and not negotiable.
Give healthy diet to your child. When your child gets older, the physically changes and hormonal change will occur, this affects the child mood.
Children in their teens should eat healthy which will keep their mood healthy. Teach your teens about healthy eating and make them aware of balance diet and provide healthy meal.
Some of the basic food I ensure my teen son’s have everyday is 2 glass of milk, 2 eggs, 2 banana, 2 glass of fruit juice and a hand full of nuts.
There are many ways in which you can help your family move to healthy eating. We have outlined the same in our article nutrition.
Everyone deserves respect it’s well known. Sometimes it is easy to forget you’re your children are also individuals and should be treated with respect.
Recognize their independence, even though their preferences may not be the same as yours. Try to understand their point of view as well as their feelings and needs.
It is important to remember that the relationship between you will undergo changes. But these can be very constructive and gratifying. When you thread though this phase with respect for your teen and their decisions.
Accept the change in your relationship
First of accept that things are changing. Your relationship between you and your child is no longer that of a parent and a child. But it is that of a parent and a teenager.
A teenager who is well into their way of becoming an adult.
Accept this teenage phase as part of the developmental milestones that your teenager has to go through to become an adult.
Take this phase and all that your teenager might put you through as a rite of passage. Muster courage and face this period with all its positives and its negatives and learn to not take it personally and cope with it.
Shower with love
Teenagers need the same amount of love and attention as before.
This is why it is important to establish a good relationship with your child from an early age so that you can know and guide them.
It is important to note that the relationship you have with your adolescent child will not be the same as when he was a child. He now shows Teeth. Gets cranky, backtalks and all the 9 yards.
Yet, Parents form a special bond as loving characters who are genuinely interested in their child. Through your examples, your child will learn to love and care for other people.
Remember that despite a child’s indifference, harsh words, or criticism of you or their teachers, a young person needs love understanding, and acceptance.
Dealing with changes in their moods becomes easier in such an environment.
Set a good example
As we said earlier, your child’s reasoning abilities will flourish during adolescence. They will observe what you say and do.
Try to be consistent in your actions and in what you want to instill in your child. Remember, you are their first source in the search for identity.
If you are a father dealing with a teenage son. Our article father and son can be a good read for you.
Irritated or depressed? – Word of Caution
However, it is not easy to find out what your teens feel. For example, irritability and anger are common in adolescence.
Especially in constant moods, they can also be a sign of depression.
When irritability is associated with loss of pleasure, a constantly low mood, and a lack of interest in things that the young person has enjoyed in the past, it can be depression.
Remember, When the teen keeps emotions inside and bottling it up may make things worse. It can lead to depression in teenagers. To know more about this issue. Read our article depression.
It is also important to understand as parents that sometimes the teenager does not necessarily act against the agreed things just because they want to be ‘difficult’. But it could be due to the fact that nothing feels good to them.
Remember, Depression coupled with loss of hope for the future is one of the main causes of suicide. To know more about suicidal tendency read our article suicide.
Important Note to Parents
It would be important for the parent to keep a low threshold for seeking outside help.
For example, if mental health issues are not answered at home, a school psychologist, medical professional, or related personal can help you move forward.
A little bit of mood swing is not a problem but when it becomes more sever it is important to contact a professional help and get a full treatment for your teenager mood swings.
You may want to talk to a school counselor, parent, or therapist about what you can do if your child has negative mood swings for too long.
If your child feels upset, angry, bored or hopeless, your child may become depressed and need help from a counselor or doctor. Spotting and getting help early and can be very helpful for your teen.
Teenager mood swings, as well as physical, mental and emotional changes, are certainly a challenge for children and parents.
Teach your teen coping skill. Few with we have listed above. Teach your child how to control emotions.
It’s perfectly normal to be crying, angry, anxious, or ecstatic, sometimes all within 10 minutes.
However, if you build a good relationship with your children from childhood based on love, understanding and respect, adolescence will be a simpler and more rewarding process.
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However, I am a mother growing 3 kids. Am a concerned parent.
I like to share my knowledge with the hope that it will be help to someone somewhere and make a difference to a very worried parent.
I have written this article, basis my experience, my talk with experts in this line and research on this topic. Also, I have implemented it in my life with my kids.
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