How-To protect your kid from Bullying
Protect your Kid from Bullying: Have you experience being bullied? Maybe during your high school or college days, where there is someone that likes to make fun out of you or maybe you knew someone that was getting bullied by your classmate or seniors.
Did it feel good? … Do you know bullying is one of the reasons for kids dropping out of school?
- Facts about bullying
- 2 models and 4 types of Bullying Parents should know about
- 10 Topics parents should make their kid aware to protect your kid from bullying
- How to know if your kid is getting bullied?
- 5 ways you can help and protect your kid from bullying
Bullying is a serious matter that anyone should be aware of. It ranges from different activities and it can happen anywhere. Anyone can be a victim of bullying. Bullies do not choose their victims anyone who they think is “fun” and “easy” to play will be a target.
Bullying has the tendency to occur repeatedly. It can happen repeatedly if there is no intervention or help from others.
Person who experience bullying for a long period of time can experience trauma. It can cause serious problem on the life of the victim.
That is why it is important for you as a parent to be good at observation.
You must make sure that your kid is safe from bullying. You must be sensitive enough to notice some clear distinction of bullying.
But how can you say that your kid is getting bullied? What are the signs that can help you tell that he/she is experiencing bullying? And, how to protect your kid from bullying?
Some Facts about Bullying
- National center of education statistics, 2019 state that One out of every five students have reported that they have been bullied.
- 15% of students ages between 12 – 18 who reported were being bullied at school.
- As per Gino & Ageless, 2014 Social isolation / peer victimization lead to victims having are 2.2 times more likely suicide idealization
- They are also 2.6 times more likely to try and attempt suicide.
- 6th grade students experience the most bullying
- Students are less likely to report bullying as they get older.
- Large part of bullying happens in school
- Girls are cyberbullies more than boys.
- Bullying is prevalent mostly in middle school and high school.
Related read: How-to find out suicidal tendency in your teen?
2 Models and 4 types of Bullying Parents should know about
Knowing about the 2 Models and 4 types of Bullying will help parents educate their children better and protect your kid from bullying.
There are 2 models of bullying Direct and Indirect.
Direct bullying happens when the victim is directly bullied by the bully. The victim is the main target and the victim is present and is being subjected to the bully.
Indirect bullying does not happen in the presence of the victim. It happens behind the victims back. Bullying such as spreading rumors and lies, cyber bullying come under this category
I have listed below the 4 types of bullying every parent should know about. I have given some examples of each type of bullying to give you an idea of how they look and appear.
Every parent should make your kid aware about these billing practice that a bully uses. So that your kid can spot when they are subjected to these types of bully.
When your kid is self confident they are better equipped to face this situation. Read our article on How to develop self-confidence in your teenager
The 4 types of bullying parents should know about are.
- name calling
- sexual comments or gestures
- threatening Etc..
- leaving or isolating the victim out from social groups
- spreading rumors or lies about the victim
- Making kid do something they do not want to do to become socially accepted.
- Playing pranks or jokes with the intention to humiliate the victim. Etc..
- pushing or shoving the victim.
- hitting, slapping, or kicking or overpowering and subduing the victim
- stealing belongings of the victim
- damaging personal property of the victim Etc..
- E-mail or blogging about victim to hurt the victim.
- Spread hate message online.
- Comment something mean or cruel on the victim’s posts.
- Posting inappropriate content on Victims social network. Etc..
Any type of bullying leaves a scar on the kid. Learn the 11 Practical ways to help your child face challenges. If you have a teenager then our article How to Prepare your Teenager Face Challenges in Life can be of help to you.
Teach your kid on how to face challenges and this will help them during this difficult phase.
10 Points parents should make their kid aware to protect your kid from bullying
Every parent should make their kid aware of these 10 points when it comes to bullying so they can take the first steps to protect your kid from bullying.
- Bullying is a form of harassment and it is NOT OK.
- Probably is acting out there in security by trying to exercise control over another person.
- Victims of bullying think that the bully has an influence over them. And can influence what other people think of them. Which need not be true.
- It is ‘OK’ to report bullying to the authorities. That does not make them weak.
- Situation and the bullying will not change unless they bring it up to adult’s notice and seek help.
- Make your child aware about different types of bullying.
- Tell your child that it is not right to discriminate anybody because of their appearance, their disability, gender, sexual orientation, their belief system, or religion.
- Make a way to your kid on the 2 models of bullying and the 4 types of bullying and how to spot them.
- I show them that they will not get into more trouble if they confront bullying or bring it to adult’s notice.
- Make your kid feel safe and secure by showering unconditional love to them. And let them know that you are always there by their side to support them. And you can face this menace together.
How to know if your kid is getting bullied?
Kids can be the most vulnerable victim of bulling especially at their school, but most kids do not want their parents to know that they are being bullied no wonder statistics shows that only around 20% of the cases gets reported.
It can be for many reasons and one is that they do not want to make their parents worried but because of this bully are getting more opportunity to continue their bad actions.
That is why, it is very important for you as a parent to notice some signs that your kid is getting bullied because it is the only way for you protect your kid from bullying. So here some clear signs and distinction that you may see if your kid is getting bullied.
Notice some Physical sign
One of the clear signs of bullying is physical abuse because bullies may try to show dominance to their victims.
Bullies may show some aggressive behavior to get what they want. This leads to physical harm such as punching, hitting, pushing, or kicking their victims.
One way to help you know if your kid is getting bullied is by looking for some physical signs such as bruise or a cut.
If, you noticed that your kid is in pain because of a bruise, a cut or any physical harm then try talking to them.
Your kid may choose not to tell you about bullying because they are afraid. They are afraid that something bad might happen to them but if bullying keeps unnoticed it will only worsen.
Bullying with physical harm can lead to minor and up to major injuries. This can also border with physical charges.
Notice some behavioral changes from your child. Look of their behavior. Some clear sign of getting bullied is changes in emotional state.
Kids that are getting bullied may experience some emotional trauma.
Bullying will affect their overall happiness because it gives them anxiety and fear.
So, try to notice some behavioral changes from your kid. If, they are becoming shy, unmotivated, or afraid to go in school or get outside of the house for some explainable reason, then, chances are they are getting bullied.
The emotional scars and anxiety and depression in your kid. When bullying continues and remains unchecked. In such case your kid can display signs of anxiety and depression.
Know more about these in our article’s How-To SPOT & DEAL with Teenage Anxiety Issues and How-to find out if your teenager is battling depression? respectively.
Low Academic performance
Aside from emotional states of child, academic performance is also a factor to indicate that your kid is bullied.
Are the grades of your kid getting low? Then, maybe they are getting bullied by their classmates.
The grades of your kid are an indication of how much they do in school. The grade shows the performance of your kid inside the school from academic and extracurricular activities.
If, they grades are high and suddenly it became low then something is clearly happening. Maybe your kid has a problem and that problem can be bullying.
If the grades of your teenagers are dropping or low, then try to speak to the teacher about the situation of your child. Or simply ask you kid if there are problems.
Bullying is a serious problem because it can cause permanent damage to the victim’s well-being. Another clear indication of bullying is low self-confident or low self-esteem.
Bullying can happen in different form, it can in verbal or non-verbal manner.
Some bullies use offensive and downgrading words to lower the self-confident of their victim. It can be a threat, an insult or any harsh word that may affect the emotional state of their victim.
Some bullies do this so that, victim will not tell other person that they are being bullied.
Notice the self-confident of your kid because it is a huge indication of their well being.
Can your kid speak well? Can they express what they wanted? If yes that is completely fine but if your teenagers are having some issue in their confident, then that is a sign that they are being bullied.
If you like to know more about how to build self confidence in your kid. Our article How to develop self-confidence in your teenager can through some light.
Asking for more allowance/necessity
Is your kid asking for additional allowance? Or are your kid belongings are sometimes missing?
Are they hungry when they come home even though they have allowance? Then they may be experiencing bullying.
Bullying is not limited to physical and verbal abuse, some bullies choose to take advantage of their victim by taking things form them such as allowance, food, belongings, or any things useful to them.
Sometimes, this becomes a consensus or a trade where the bullies promise not to hurt their victim in exchange for money.
So, if your kid is asking for “unnecessary” increase in allowance try to ask for them the reason. Talk to them so that you can get some information about the situation of your teenager. If, you think that something is wrong, talk to the adviser of your kid or ask his/her friends for some information.
How can you help your child and protect your kid from bullying?
Now, that you know that some sign that your kid is getting bullied, it is time to get some solution. How can you help your kid to solve their bullying problems and protect your kid from bullying? How can you make them safe from bullies? Here are the ways you to do it.
Talk to your kid in detail
The first step in helping your kid overcome bullying is by talking to them.
- Talk to your kid about their situation.
- Get some insight how it started. In this way, you will fully understand the effects of bullying to your teenager.
- Ask them what kind of bullying they are experiencing and how often it occurs.
- Get the names of the people involved in the bullying so that it will be easier to talk with them.
- Remind your kid that you are always there to support them.
- Give them courage to not be afraid in this way you get help them to fight the bullies in a proper manner.
Talk to authorities
- If the bullying occurs inside the school premises you must have to talk with school authorities to help you resolve the problem.
- Schedule a meeting with the schoolteacher or guidance counselor.
- School authorities take bullying as a serious case because they know the bas effects of bullying in the academic performance of a child.
- If the bullying occurs outside the school premises you must have talk with authorities in your city.
- Talk to a police officer and ask for help about the issue because for sure they know how to help you especially if it is something serious.
Confront the bullies
The problem in a bullying case is on the bully itself so, the best way to help your kid resolve this problem is by talking to the bullies.
- Ask the school authorities to schedule a meeting so that you can talk to the bullies, you may ask them to stop what they are doing.
- Remember to only talk to the bullies with school authorities so that you can get guidance from them for appropriate action that you may do.
- You may also ask the bully for reason why they are doing it.
- Try to understand the reason but make sure to tell that it is wrong and must be stop.
Talk to the bullies’ parents
If ever the bullying does not stop, try to have a talk to the parents of the bully.
- Have a dialogue about the action of their child and state its effect to your child.
- Emphasize that their kid is doing something wrong and must be corrected.
- Ask the parents some questions that can help them understand your point and explain to them.
- Circle back to them on the progress. When you notice the bullying is continuing or even if it has stopped do let them know.
Get friends and peers help
It is proven that bullying stops if friends and peers of the victim gang up and stand against the bully.
- Talk to the friends and peers of your kid and seek their help.
- Understand from them few more details of the bullying your kid has been subjected to.
- Request them to stand up with your kid when the bully attacks your kid.
- Ask them to also report to the concerned authorities when they spot your kid getting bullied.
This is possible only when your kid has the right set of friends. Talk to you kids about the types of friends out there. To help them choose right friends. Our article friends can help you with the information needed.
Experts opinion on bullying;
Bullying will never be a right thing. It has some serious effects to the life of the victims. As a parent you must be able to tell if your kid is being bullied. So that, you can take appropriate action to protect your kid from bullying.
Do not hesitate to take appropriate action if you think your kid is being bullied. Ask some guidance from authorities because they know how to help you.
And nobody deserves to be bullied so we, as a parent must take all actions withing our powers and more to protect your kid from bullying.
However, I am a mother growing 3 kids. Am a concerned parent. And I have crossed though a teenage phase myself.
I like to share my knowledge with the hope that it will be help to someone, somewhere and make a difference to a very worried parent.
I have written this article, basis my experience, my talk with experts in this line and research on this topic.
Also, what I have practiced and have implemented it in my life with my kids.
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If you are feeling concerned and worried about your kid. Your instinct tells you to be concerned.
As a parent to parent. I would say trust your instinct. No one knows better than you as a parent to your child. It is best to reach out to a qualified practitioner to address your concern.
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