How-To Teach Good Manners to Your Kids?

Being Courteous

Teach Good Manners To Your Kids: A well-mannered kid is always the center point of any social gathering. Whenever we see a kid, we always notice how the kid acts, how he responds, and how he talks.

A well-mannered kid catches the attention of everyone.

Manners are not something kids are born with. To teach good manners to your kids is one of our main responsibilities as parents.



In case you’re a parent, grandparent, or educator, it is highly likely that you have heard the familiar saying…

Children are like sponges.

And trust me it is so true.

They in general absorb everything that we teach and not teach them. And each of what they have observed and learnt impact them.

So, the habit of being well mannered should be educated, appeared, and strengthened to a kid by all who have the authority on them.

Helping small kids learn fitting, appropriate, and accommodating conduct empowers them to frame great habits. They become all the more socially mindful as they get older.

Tip: It is much simpler to support and teach good manners to your kids if you work together as a family. Set the guidelines for good habits in a wide range of circumstances.

Advantages of being a well-mannered kid

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There are numerous advantages when your kid is well mannered.

A well-mannered kid receives good feedback from many sources. Right from guardians, instructors, helper, or their society on how well-mannered and polite their kids are.

When kids are well mannered, they are entrusted with more responsibility. For example: When kids know good telephone etiquettes. Then when a phone rings the kids are entrusted with the responsibility of answering the phone if they are near / around the phone.

When you have a respectful kid. You will not anguish about sending your kids on playdates to their friends’ homes or to any other social gatherings.

A well-mannered kid gives confidence to their parents or guardian or teachers to expose their children to various situations in life. Such as sending them for extracurricular activities.  Sending them to spend more time with grandparents … etc.

When your kid is well mannered it reflects on how the kid listens to his parents and does what he is instructed. Remember the behavior of a child is observed and interpreted in many ways by other. And most of the time having an ill-mannered child reflects poorly on the parents. Even if the parents are very well mannered.

Ways manners impact the child’s future

It will be very beneficial to your kid if you are able to show and teach them good manners.

Good manners can define the relationships your kid will have as an adult. Be it with their manager or their lady friend.

For example, if your kid is up for his first occupation and his qualifications is same as the other applicants, one of the defining things to crack the interview will be the kid’s personality.

And the mannerism he displays. The more respectful and considerate your kid is the more chances he has to land up on a job or sustain it.

Same applies with other relationships of the heart. A kid with terrible manners will have a tough time finding or maintaining a healthy relationship.

Indeed, even before those grown-up situations, your more youthful kid may figure out how good manners help them in in charming himself to educators, mentors, and friends.

Your kids might be progressively fruitful in life if he is well mannered and well behaved.

Manners and reputation

Ill-Manners can be a reputation loss

It’s not simply your children’s future that is influenced by her habits; it’s her parents’ reputation and respect, the politeness of the way of life, and society wherein we live.

If your kid behaves badly in front of your friends or other community it will ruin your reputation. Unfortunately, you will feel embarrassment just because of your kid’s conduct.

On the other hand, if you teach good manners to your kids all the important manners that make him attractable for others it will give you pleasure and maintain your reputation.

Improves Self-confidence

Self-confidence is the key to success.

Good manners play a vital role to maintain the confidence of your kid. If a kid does not have etiquettes or manners, he will likely to face problems and even shame in the future.

For example, if a child is being ill-mannered it mostly likely attract attention of people. And people will criticize him and will naturally try to stay away from him.

This will make the child arrogant and as a way of coping up with the rejection or in some cases, he will be disheartened. This will gradually lead him to lose his self-confidence.

But if a child is showing good conduct people will like him and appreciate him at every step. This will make him more confident and his confidence will lead him to success

Age appropriate manners to teach children

We have given below in brief the age appropriate manners that we can teach to our kids.

Toddlers: To tell respectful words such as “Please”, Thank you”, “Excuse me” and words of greetings such as “Good Morning”, “Good Night”.

Pre-Schoolers: Sharing, Playing, no pushing / pulling or biting, Helping clean up.

School age children: Table manners, Pleasant communication manners such as listening and not interrupting, greeting with pleasantries such as How are you? How was your day? Etc.Teenagers: Be kind and courteous, lend a helping hand to adults, respecting other space and privacy, engage cheerfully with guest, Play Host to guests of the house.

You need to teach manners as and when your child learns appropriate life skills. To know the type of life skills that you can teach your kids as per their age and how do read our blog TEACH YOUR CHILD LIFE SKILLS: A HOW–TO GUIDE

Ways to teach good manners to your kids

Here are some useful tips which you can follow to teach good manners to your kids.

These are very easy tips to follow and with some effort from your side. You will be well on the way to have a well-mannered kid.

Be a role model for your kids

In the case that you need your children to have great habits, you should ensure you do also display the same.

It is said that when an infant comes to your home you must change your ways. You need to be more careful and attentive.

Expecting your kids to do something when you don’t follow it. Is just of no use. You rather concede defeat even before you even attempt to teach good manners to your kids.

Your kids are more likely to imitate they see you are doing much more than what you are telling them to do.

There are different types of parenting styles. You can start by knowing what is your natural parenting style.

How you can build on that to better collaborate with your child. Spend some time knowing about your own parenting style in our blog PARENTING STYLES – How to spot your style?

The initial step to having a considerate youngster is being aware of your parenting style and being a courteous parent.

Be a role model for your children. Teaching your kids by your action is more important than teaching by words.

Teach your kids table manners

An exemplary behavior includes table manners, so begin showing your children the essentials from an early age.

Use age-suitable exercises and prize them for keeping the standards.

Ask your kids to follow you after sitting for dinner. Practice all the basic table manners to impress your children.

For example

  • Use your napkin
  • Eat with the right hand
  • Do not take big bites
  • Chew properly
  • How to call a waiter
  • Use fork and spoon instead of fingers
  • you are no bothered about it.

The kid need not know all the types of cutlery used on the table immediately. Start slow and make sure the basics are not compromised.

However, you can continue to use the cutlery viz. soup spoon for soup, tea spoon, dessert spoon etc… When your kid shows interest slowly educate them.

Good table manners are also one of the effective habits your kid should have to be socially accepted in life. We have picked 25 very important habits that a child must have. You can check out for yourself how many your child possesses from our article 25 easy ways to teach kids good habits.

Be Consistent

Be consistent in your approach. It will be of no help if one day you insist that no talking with mouthful of food. And then the next day.

By being consistent the message will be transferred and received by your kid soon. Will also help if the same manners is enforced by everyone in the family.

E.g. Picking on teeth without covering the mouth.  If all in the family do not talk when their mouth is full. And also, if all enforce it on the kids when ever they find a slip. The kid learns in matter of days and will follow the instruction. This will last a life time.

You may also like to spend some time knowing about how to teach kids personal hygiene form our tending article How to introduce Personal Hygiene to Kids and When?

Correct your kids on the spot

Young kids in many cases don’t understand what they are doing.

For instance, on the off chance that you are talking with a companion, your youngster may believe it’s alright to interfere with you.

Ask your companion for an excuse and tell your kid that their interference is not good.

Do this for any infraction your kids do.

Make sure you are stern but affectionate in these kinds of circumstances.

In case that you have an excessively sensitive kid, you should pardon yourself and talk with the person in question later on if you feel it can trigger a tantrum.

However, this avoidance is no excuse for the behavior of the kid. Address the issue as early as possible with the kid.

If you have a kid who throws a temper tantrum and you like to know how to deal with it, we have addressed this issue in our blog 10 effective ways to reduce temper tantrums immediately

Use proper Vocabulary

This is something I hold very close to my heart. Almost to a fault.

To the extent that if I find people use it, I either voice out my concern or just get up and walk away.

Using proper language is so significant. Children are not born with a vocabulary. It is developed and mainly from home.

Frequently in some situations when parents are in anger or they use the language that they do not want for their children to mimic.

I have heard and also witnessed numerous situations where little preschoolers swearing like a grown up. Much to the embarrassment to their parents.

Once more, this is an area where you have to demonstrate the right conduct.

A bit of a detour here… if you are also wanting to improve on your child’s vocabulary and communication you can browse through our post 9 BEST WAYS TO DEVELOP YOUR KID’S COMMUNICATION SKILL.

Use of polished language

The words we use and the manner we use them speaks volumes about us. Even if we say we won’t judge. Subconsciously we will.

A simple test: Assuming you are in a super market and you hear a 3-year-old using the ‘F’ word. What would your thoughts be when you look at his parent in the eye?

While the words we choose to speak is important. What is more important is the way in which we speak it.

In our family we are a very active and enthusiastic bunch. We speak fast and speak with all passion.

Sometimes in a high pitch. But many a times in my corporate life this has been a deterrent to me.

While what was and still is acceptable to my family. Was not what was at society at large.

Lucky my son took after my husband who is very calm and composed all the time. But now I find this in my daughter. While I enjoy her conversation, I know I need to help her with this.

We have now consciously made effort to tone down my pitch when I am around her.

Also, things like not shouting if your children are present. SO that they don’t copy us.

Being patient and speaking politely so that your children the same are conscious efforts that we need to take to help our children build manners.

Praise your kids

Children love to be praised, particularly when it originates from a parent or somebody they regard.

Unfortunately, most of the time we are quick to point out the times when the kid was ill-mannered and we forget to appreciate the time when they were well behaved.

I learnt this very late in life. When I used to take my niece out for a movie. She would every 10 mins disturb with something or the other.

Every time I plan to take her for a movie. I would get all sorts of commitment from her and then land up getting disturbed.

One day for reasons best known to her she was quite for the first half of the movie. I was super excited that I rewarded her for her good behavior by getting her treats during interval.

And then my lesson was learnt. She was quite the second half and as a result we spent more time going to beach and playing an extra hour. From that day onward taking her movies became such a charm and we do spend a good playground time after.

Kids need consideration any way they can get it, regardless of whether that implies doing terrible things. Energize them when they are well mannered.

Respect for Others

This is one of the things which you need to teach good manners to your kids will give them lot of accolades from others.  Many children are self-centered by nature. There is nothing wrong.

And every parent recognizes this very early in the parenting charge, and it’s up to you to turn this around.

Teach them the importance of respecting other people’s feelings and needs.

As they start learning to listen more, speak less, have respect for others, and show patience, their Golden Rule behavior will begin to shine forth.

Go out in public with your children

Independence through Self Play

Once you’ve taught and reinforced the manners rules at home, take your children out to casual restaurants, the library, the parks, and other places where they can practice what they’ve learned.

In this way, they will be more confident. They will come to know how to act in public.

Also invite children for playdate or take your child out to playdates. This way they not only build their social skills they also will learn how to behave in the presence if company.

Give this these opportunities hen you are in the quest to teach good manners to your kids.

Fine tune their behavior though praises when they are well mannered.

And highlight and point out when they are ill-mannered. Will go a long way in easing your child in social situations.

Also, taking your kid outside has many other benefits especially if you want your kids to be smarter then you should not miss out of the topic Want to raise Smart Kids? – Do this NOW!!

Don’t set high expectations

Teach age appropriate manners to children. And set expectations accordingly.

Expecting a toddler to behave like a school age kid and a school age kid as a teenager will only stress out your kid. Can lead to anxiety and break their confidence.

The problem of anxiety in kids is in the raise and we as parent need to be aware of this and be cognizant of the effects of anxiety in our children.

Forget what other children are doing or not doing. Its your kid and the situation and development stages of your kid is best known to you.

So just concentrate on your appropriate manners and be proud and content if they are able to fulfill it.

Start practice at home

It is unreasonable to expect our children to understand or visualize what good manners is without them witnessing it. Our homes need to be the place where they can see for themselves what the standards of behavior should be.

Start practice at home. Home is the first learning place for a kid. If you want to teach any good act then do it by yourself.

When your child will see you doing this, he will copy your way. Keep doing again and again in front of your kids to continue the practice.

Also, the conversations you have with your spouse. The way you treat them. The way you meet and greet people coming to your house. All set examples to your kid on what socially accepted norms should be.

Have Patience

All said and done. At the end of the day they are kids. There will be times when their innocence, naughtiness or their childishness gets the better of them. No matter how much you invest to teach good manners to your kids.

Every parent faces these embarrassments one time or the other. Parents who don’t specifically concentrate on teaching their kids good manners.

And they themselves don’t display such traits even in the privacy of their homes. Will make more embarrassment than the ones who do.

But the bottom line is. there is going to be a slip, one day or the other. And there is nothing wrong in your parenting style or your kid. Just muster the patience needed. Be consistent in your messaging. Learn and implement how to teach good manners to your kids. And you will see progress.

video Time: Expert opinion about teaching manners to kids


Kids do not know what manners are, how they should talk, how to behave in front of others, and how to eat. They learn all these manners by their parents and guardians.

We hope tips will help you to teach good manners to your kids and to make them well behaved kids who are liked by all and is a pure joy to be around with.

We hope this blog has been helpful to you. If Yes, show us love by sharing the blog post with your friends and loved ones. Together we can make the world a better place one step at a time.

If have missed out on any points on how to teach good manners to your kids, please do share with us in your comments below. This will help us to make our blog better and above all your knowledge will benefit other parents also.

God Bless!!

Thabitha David

Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend. She is a MBA Graduate specialized in Human Resources. She is a very proud mother of 3 Kids. (2 Teens & 1 Tween). She is a keen Observer of Life and is a blogger. She writes these articles based on her experience (Success and Failures). She does this with hope to help and ease the pain of at-least one parent as they face the challenges of parenting. Read more from the About Us Page

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